Surviving the Gym: A Beginner’s Guide

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14 Responses to “Surviving the Gym: A Beginner’s Guide”


  1. 1 DH April 11, 2007 at 2:07 pm

    You leff out the most important gym subset – the normal dude. Normal dude: proper fitting t-shirt, possibly with logo of team supported or college attended. Mesh shorts, sneaks, maybe an Ipod. In slightly below to somewhat above average shape. Not one rep away from a stroke, but not adonis either. Unfortunately not nearly as funny as “creepy, clueless old dude” who wears a one piece, leprechaun green singlet and does step workouts in the weight room.

  2. 2 Scott April 11, 2007 at 2:26 pm

    Loved not only the humor of this but the accuracy. After having worked for 7 years in gyms, and thankfully having escaped. This was good for some chuckles. I always hated the social butterflys because I couldn’t really escape them. I was paid to be there and talk to them. And they were always the folks that lacked real social skills and thus the captive audience was there only chance to interact.

    I sure do miss the fit moms though. Man that was nice.

    Great job.

  3. 3 Donkey Carnival April 11, 2007 at 2:56 pm

    Are you the guy that published a similar article to this about a two years ago on http://www.thephatphree.com ? It just seems like you expanded it a little bit since then.

  4. 4 Pawtucket Pat April 11, 2007 at 3:00 pm

    Good stuff. It’s all so true. Nice article.

  5. 5 So Evil April 11, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    That was excellent!

  6. 6 beingsven April 11, 2007 at 4:02 pm

    DH: I envisioned this as directed towards the normal user, so while I briefly considered them, I deliberately left them out since that’s the ‘target audience’.

    Donkey Carnival: I can’t say I’m familiar with the site, so no, it wasn’t me. I wouldn’t be surprised if somebody has had the same ideas. The gym is rife with humorous ideas.

    Otherwise, thanks for all the feedback. Thank you and come again. *smirk*

  7. 8 carrouselyacht April 11, 2007 at 8:07 pm

    Wow, that is way too accurate! Sounds just like my gym, wonder which one I am?

  8. 9 offtheoldblock April 11, 2007 at 9:52 pm

    great article, but you left out something that always disappoints me:

    “Do you mind if I work in?” What this means: you are sitting on the seated row while resting. I could do my set while you are resting, and not lose the mojo I’m in the middle of experiencing. Then I can let you do your next set. Alternating – it’s like sharing. Also a skill learned in kindergarten. If I ask if is ok if I work in, the answer is always “yes” if there is only one person using the machine. This etiquette goes away when it is 2 or 3 people working out together, since they’ll have their own workout to stick to.

    I have scared an unreasonable amount of people away from a machine just by asking if I could work in.

  9. 10 Kiboko April 12, 2007 at 2:08 am

    In regards to the sandals bit, i wear wrestling shoes, mainly due to the fact that i can’t get away with working out barefoot… In all seriousness, you think the extra 1/16 of an inch of dacron mesh is going to make one damn bit of difference to that plate you just dropped from a meter up?

  10. 11 Jonobrenator April 12, 2007 at 7:20 pm

    This is great. We have created nicknames for people seen on a daily basis. We have the social butterfly whom we call “Happy”. Even at 5:30 in the morning, this guy is so happy and goes around shaking hands and talking to everyone.

    The comment about walking around the locker room naked was well said. I had an incident where a guy came from the showers sporting full wood. Unfortunately my locker was close to his. His one-eyed pee wee was looking right at me as he approached his locker. I’m discreet not because I’m insecure, but just don’t get a thrill from walking around a bunch of other guys nude.

    Great stuff!!

  11. 12 roehrigs01 May 6, 2007 at 4:01 pm

    I hate when people try to work in… I never do that to others.. I just go do something else until the spot is open.. This is my time to be alone and get a good workout in… Not to have to think about bs or any other life’s caraopla… I’m not there to talk and not there to share…

    If someone wants to work in, they can just have the machine.. I’ll come back later.. or bound to have another machine or exercise that does the same thing in the gym… This is the quickest way to get you outa my way and for me to get back to the zone I was in before they butted in due to their impatience… The only time I want someone interupting me is when I take a “break” while resting or moving to look at some eye candy…lol

  12. 13 Samuel L. April 22, 2009 at 3:10 am

    Not that I’m totally impressed, but this is a lot more than I expected when I stumpled upon a link on Delicious telling that the info here is awesome. Thanks.

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