Pre-season Short Pants Party!

dressedinthedark.jpg

Some of the players reported back for pre-season training on Friday. That’s right, all nine of them. Judging by the pictures over on the Official Site, the rest of the lads probably didn’t miss much. Granted, a lot of the squad is still on a well-deserved holiday or playing in international tournaments. The majority of the squad isn’t expected back until next week, but it’s fun nice enough to see pictures of our boys back in action. Or, something closely resembling action.

I find it odd that Finnan is there. I love his commitment to the cause, but couldn’t Steve wrangle another week of vacation? Or do you think he’s been sitting at home since Athens, counting the days until he could go back to work?

But the reason for this post isn’t that nine players are back at Melwood. No, what prompts this is something of much less ‘importance’…

Look at those ugly-ass training kits.

What the fuck is adidas thinking? Do they truly believe that throwing random slashes of relevant color across a kit counts as a quality design? A kindergartener hopped up on Elmer’s could come up with something just as appealing in the last five minutes of recess.

Having taken a gander at the offerings on sale at the Club’s online shop, it’s become blatantly obvious that it’s not just poor taste at work, it’s a crime. It’s criminal for adidas to expect people to pay money for these wares.

While we all know training wear historically looks like the rejected templates for the actual kits, this batch is taking it much too far.

I submit, as evidence, Exhibits A through F.

trainingtop.jpg

Exhibit A

This is the training top the lads are wearing in the picture. While I understand adding a splash of red and/or white, why does it have to be in such an ‘edgy’/New Wave sort of design.

Imagine this black shirt without the red or white ‘horns’ for a moment. Tell me a solid black shirt wouldn’t be a bad-ass third/European jersey!

trainingjersey.jpgExhibit B

The same design, just in white. Unfortunately, the overall shirt doesn’t look any better in another color.

This shirt does have it advantages, though. When put side-to-side, it makes the new white away kit look much more attractive.

trainingtank.jpgExhibit C

The training tank top. Apparently, Liverpool are now fielding an Aussie Rules Football team.

While I’m sure the players don’t really care what the top they’re wearing looks like at practice, who’s buying this thing?

trainingsweat.jpgExhibit D

The training sweatshirts.

Once again, random arching stripes of color. You think maybe the original design was plain, but the designer left the plans on a table and his toddler drew all over it? He probably was able to fix some of it, but it was due that day, he was late, so it got turned in as is?

trainingkit.jpgExhibit E

The same sweatshirt in black.

Now, let’s use the same exercise we used for Exhibit A; imagine this top (and the previous red one) without the arching black stripe.

How sharp would that look? Clean and simple. I’d buy it.

trainingshort.jpg

Exhibit F

In adidas’ defense, these shorts aren’t nearly as tragic as the training tops.

The red stripes seem pointless, almost like an afterthought. But, I’d be rather fond of owning a pair of black Liverpool shorts.

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