Weekend Warrior Wrap-up

 torresfirst.jpgIt’s frustrating to have a goal of such incredible class get canceled out by one of such little class. But, that’s football.

I’d almost forgotten the ferocity with which Chelsea makes my blood boil. As if the money and the recent success weren’t enough to warrant ill feelings, the utter doucheyness of their players make me want to plant my studs in their collective faces.

All in all, a point versus Chelsea isn’t a bad result. But, we all want to see us conquer them in the comforts of Anfield, and with United’s continued blushes, today’s result was an opportunity missed.

My thoughts on the match:

  • Right off the bat, Riise is delivered the ball inside the 18, alone on the far post, but his heavy touch let him down and allowed Cech to collect. A laser from that distance would have been lethal.
  • Early on, we see smiles from Stevie G. He was all over the place in the 1st half. The toe didn’t seem to have any visible ill effects.
  • Essien at right back is a match-up that should have favored Liverpool. A proper winger with real speed, in lieu of Riise, could have made a real meal out of it.
  • Arbeloa mades sure to get the contact on a late Essien tackle. Yellow card for the Ghanian. I really feel Arbeloa could have made it past him unimpeded.
  • Malouda looks like a cunt. Glad our ships passed in the night.
  • Torres with a glorious opener!!!! After a great ball from Gerrard, Fernando madesit look easy by striding past Ben Haim and slotting it past Cech on the far post!! El Nino looks good for the money. He seems to be one of those players who waits to pick his initial spot, but once he announces himself on a game with a fantastic move, is instantly hot and ready for more.
  • I like how Rafa doesn’t celebrate the goal, but instead jumped up to doll out important instructions to the players
  • Torres almost fought his way out of a triple team.
  • Kuyt collected a yellow for his consistent harassment of the defneders and his ‘defend from the front’ mentality. A small price to pay.
  • Riise’s little Norweigans took one for the team.
  • Nobody swarms the referee like Chelsea. They lose out on a corner after Carra touches it and the ref makes the wrong call. Ashley Cole nearly has a kindergarten-level hissy-fit. What a bunch of whiny cunts.
  • Torres and Terry came together hard, with El Nino giving him the business. Terry says something in his ear, Torres pats him on the cheek. Torres gives him a ‘keep talking’ sign after they’re seperated.
  • Tempers flaring and the game is getting physical five minutes from half after Terry misses a far post knock in on a free kick.
  • Gerrard, Kuyt and Pennant all with yellow cards in the first half. Essien for Chelsea. It may have been a good thing the hard-tackling Mascherano didn’t start this game.
  • Right before half, Pennant had a golden chance to tee Torres up but his pass is behind the striker. Fernando would have had a defender between he and the goal, but it still was a missed chance of high quality. Pennant has to do better.
  • Torres took a hefty knock on his lower right leg (ankle?) and limped off after the whistle. It didn’t seem to bother him greatly later, though.
  • Chelsea come out raring to go in the 2nd half.
  • Riise’s left foot didn’t function well today. Methinks he’s earned himself a place on the bench. Let’s see Babel on the left at Sunderland.
  • There certainly is an onus on speed of attack and quick passing/touches for Liverpool this season.
  • At one point, Torres snuck up behind Cech as the ‘keeper held the ball, waiting to punt. Cech smartly checked over his shoulder. Trickery by El Nino.
  • Pennant harassed Cole into coughing up the ball outside his own 18 and the left back is lucky to escape with a Liverpool free kick and not a goal. Instead, Riise’s malfuncting left foot blasted the ball into the wall on the resulting kick.
  • Cole deservedly saw yellow after clipping El Nino, who had already jumped over his late tackle.
  • I’m not happy about the penalty. Malouda jumped over the ball, not intending to play it, and made contact with Finnan, who had nowhere to go, after the ball was gone. Granted, it moved very fast and Robbie Styles had a tough call, but it wasn’t like a late tackle. What’s a defender to do when a player is hurtling into you? Carra got yellow for informing the ref just how much of his body composition is made up of feces.


  • Two penalties conceded in two league games. That’s more than enough. No more!
  • Pennant off for Babel. It should have been Riise. Jermaine, at least, had created some opportunties, Riise just wasted them.
  • Yellow for Lampard after a douchey nudge on Alonso.
  • Yellow for Terry after Chelsea swarm the ref AGAIN. I’d rather see a crackdown on this then simulation. This is beyond douchebag behavior.
  • Crouch for Riise. Not much time for Peter, but he’s ineffective.
  • Alex got on, in place of Malouda. Can’t say much about him, but he should be a great addition to that Chelsea defence.
  • Babel came close with a great rip from the left that ended up in the side netting.
  • Chelsea missed more blatant opportunities (two back post misses), but Liverpool seemed more dangerous more often.
  • For those of you scoring at home; that’s two goals and nine yellow cards.

Watch El Nino’s first Premier League goal.

Watch Chelsea’s sketchy penalty equalizer. 

The Liverpool Doomsday Clock remains unaffected.

Elsewhere in this weekend’s Premier League action:

Portsmouth 3 – Bolton 1: The Incredible Sulk, Nic Anelka, started Bolton off on the right foot, but ole Harry’s men (featuring England recallee David James, but no Sol Campbell) quickly pegged them back, had the game under control by half-time and added a third through a late penalty.

It’s only three games into the season, but things aren’t looking particularly peachy for the Wanderers. If Bolton don’t find some points soon, Sammy Lee may be forced to find himself a new means of employment. I hate to say I told you so, especially about a former Liverpool man, but I fear for his professional future.

Birmingham 0 – West Ham 1: Kieron Dyer made his Hammers debut and Matty Upson wore the captain’s armband in his first return to St. Andrews. The duo earned three points on their special day after Craig Bellamy won a penalty and Mark Noble converted it.

I wonder how long it will take Birmingham owner Carson Yueng to rethink his Champions League ambitions.

And in completely shocking news, Alan Curbishley is denying a bust-up with everybody’s favorite neckless Welshman, Craig Bellamy. Only one week into the season? Impressive stuff.

Fulham 1 – Middlesbrough 2: Brian McBride had a big day; He snagged the game’s first goal and then had his knee dislocated. Boro equalized through debutee Mido’s goal (I’m willing to bet it’s all downhill from here with him) and would later get a terrific winner by young Lee Cattermole minutes from time.

I said it in my preview and I’ll say it again: I like the look of Cattermole. He’s gritty and industrious. An exciting young prospect. Keep an eye on this one.

Unfortunately, Fulham were robbed when the latest transfer prospect for my fantasy team, David Healy, was robbed of a goal in injury time. Replays clearly show his shot crossed the line, only to be immediately pushed back over by Mark Schwarzer. Fulham got fleeced of a point, but them’s the breaks. Maybe if Clint Dempsey hadn’t missed an absolute sitter…

Reading 1 – Everton 0: Stephen Hunt snagged the lone goal right before the break, as Andrew Johnson was unable to dive his way into any penalties this match.

Reading manger Steve Coppell, due to lose his big Cameroonian defender, Andre Bikey, to international duty in Tokyo, had this to say:

He has a lot to learn still, but is a very enthusiast student.

The shame of it all is that now, tomorrow morning, he flies to Tokyo. It is a valid international week, but I would question the international motivation.

It is a price to pay when you sign players who are not from these shores, I do realise that. But it is of no help to us when he is travelling halfway around the world to maybe not even play in a game in Tokyo. It is very demanding.

Tottenham 4 – Derby 0: Spurs heard everything y’all were saying about them and they were not pleased. So, they took it out on poor, little Derby. This one was over before it even got started with three goals in the first fifteen minutes. Darren Bent even got in on the action with his first goal in a Tottenham shirt.

Granted, it was against relegation fodder, but four goals and clean sheet — this was the type of performance that was expected of Martin Jol’s team this season. And with Dimitar Berbatov, Michael Dawson, Ledley King, Gareth Bale and Aaron Lennon on their way back from injury, the early clouds that formed over White Hart Lane may quickly give way to sunshine.

Wigan 3 – Sunderland 0: Emile Heskey, looking more like Leicester-era Emile then then the Emile at Liverpool, opened his season’s goalscoring account (granted, he was offsides) as the Latics showed Roy Keane what life in the Premier League is really going to be like. Antoine Sibierski also scored his third goal in three games, trying to sucker me into buying him for my fantasy team.

No dice, Antoine. The minute I buy you, your output will fall off completely.

Newcastle 0 – Aston Villa 0: Michael Owen returned to action as neither club could find their killer instinct in this relatively entertaining goalless draw. Villa looked as industrious as they did against Liverpool and were unlucky not to find a winner.

I’m thrilled with David Rozehnal’s performance and the clean sheet points for my fantasy team, but was it most impressive is that Alan Smith’s hair seems to back to his (or just ‘a’) natural color.

Sam Allardyce on Owen’s return and whether he came through it fit:

No problem – unless he wakes up with a problem tomorrow.

Man City 1 – Man Utd 0: Sven sits on top of English football with a perfect start to the season. Tevez punishes United fans (*cough*and his fantasy owner*cough*) by missing a late sitter. United’s shocking poor start continues. Two points from three matches? While I’m not ready to dance on their grave after a week, I’m optimistic that this is a trend that can be exploited and continued. But, I’d still hate to be the visiting Spurs next weekend.

Blackburn 1 – Arsenal 1: If a goal of high class can be referred to as ‘restaurant quality’, then the two goals in this game are of ‘hot dog street cart quality’. Van Persie opened the scoring by knocking the ball in after a scrum in front of the Blackburn goal. David Dunn later equalized after Lehmann inexplicably allowed his shot in off his gloved hand.

Blackburn defender Ryan Nelson got his walking papers a few minutes from the close, but Arsenal didn’t have time to find a go-ahead goal.

So, after 8 days, the PL table looks something like this…

(and yes, I’m working on my HTML skills. The next table will look sharper.)

Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Man City 3 3 0 0 4 0 +4 9
2 Chelsea 3 2 1 0 6 4 +2 7
3 Wigan 3 2 0 1 5 2 +3 6
4 Everton 3 2 0 1 5 3 +2 6
5 Portsmouth 3 1 2 0 6 4 +2 5
6 Newcastle 2 1 1 0 3 1 +2 4
7 Arsenal 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
8 Blackburn 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
9 Liverpool 2 1 1 0 3 2 +1 4
10 Reading 3 1 1 1 2 2 0 4
11 Sunderland 3 1 1 1 3 5 -2 4
12 Tottenham 3 1 0 2 5 4 +1 3
13 Fulham 3 1 0 2 4 5 -1 3
14 Middlesbrough 3 1 0 2 3 4 -1 3
15 West Ham 2 1 0 1 1 2 -1 3
16 Man United 3 0 2 1 1 2 -1 2
17 Aston Villa 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
18 Birmingham 3 0 1 2 4 6 -2 1
19 Derby 3 0 1 2 2 7 -5 1
20 Bolton 3 0 0 3 3 8 -5 0

10 Responses to “Weekend Warrior Wrap-up”

  1. 1 Ace Cowboy August 19, 2007 at 2:50 pm

    Utter crap. The only consolation in that PK call is knowing that Fulham supporters have a much bigger gripe with the refs this weekend.

    Torres from Gerrard, though…what a fantastic goal.

  2. 2 Blackadder August 19, 2007 at 3:15 pm

    COME ON!!! THIS GAME WAS A RIP OFF!!! That wasnt a penalty for crying out loud! are u really satisfied that chelks got a point from Anfield??? Im freaking furious! this was our game and we lost 2 points because of a lousy referee. there is no way this was a penalty….

    Anyway… Our team showed some good signs but if we cant finish off games like that there is no way we can win the league…

    by the way, I got the starting eleven right as well as that torres would score….

  3. 3 beingsven August 19, 2007 at 3:39 pm

    Am I ‘satisfied’ with a point when we should have had three? No.

    Am I going to rage against the result and ruin the rest of my day like I have some many other times before? No.

    Am I going to overact when there are 108 points left up for grabs? No.

    Am I worried because we couldn’t find a second goal against one of Europe’s better sides in a game that had clearly deteriorated into a physical grudge match? No.

    Of course we got shafted. But that’s football.

    Onto Sunderland.

  4. 4 Run Up The Score! August 19, 2007 at 3:55 pm

    Absolutely fucking horrible penalty call. It actually is ruining my day, and I’m not nearly the avid supporter you are.

    The Special One. With that name, it sounds like Jose needs a helmet and a drool cup.

  5. 5 JT August 19, 2007 at 4:06 pm

    This was our early-season statement game, a chance to show that we’re a different team from seasons past. And it was stolen from us. Lampard, Terry, Obi were ghosts, absolute ghosts. Showed nothing. It blows my mind that Lampard still gets nods from England, because his ability to significantly influence a game is years removed.

    Given the struggles of our biggest pre-season competition, this was a chance to get a little bit of space and to exert a little bit of early pressure.

    And, I repeat, it was fucking stolen from us.

    Liverpool 1, Rob Styles 1.

    Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. I just hope this doesn’t affect us spiritually in a massive way, and we meander through the next month in a bit of a haze [as past squads have been wont to do]. We need to forget about this theft and quick, as there’s plenty of tricky games ahead in the near future.

  6. 6 matt August 19, 2007 at 4:30 pm

    terrible penalty. malouda’s awesome, sven…you wish you had him on your side. the biggest bitch on chelsea by far is mikel, that guy whines and isn’t nearly the talent he thinks he is.

    i dont know if there shouldve been any changes for pool in the game, maybe babel in for kuyt or crouch in for kuyt right after the penalty. why did pennant get taken off right after he made a great play that set up a shot? didn’t understand it.

  7. 7 Georger August 19, 2007 at 4:57 pm

    pennant was taken off because it was only a matter of time before he got a second yellow the way that game was going, he cannot control his temper worth shit

    if riise continues to start over kewell (who wasnt available today) i am going to be furious. rafa bitches about wingers in the offseason and his first choices are a fast punk who makes one good cross a game and cant take corners worth shit, and a defender who lost his touch at the back. i would prefer riise to come on as a sub because he can make a difference with free kicks, but as for playing 70+ minutes on the wing, youve gotta be kidding me. our best crosses are still coming from steve finnan, while he is immense, that is unacceptable

    i do wish we had malouda honestly

    striking looked fantastic today, wouldve prefered subs on early with all those cards, i really think it took stevie out of the game. i think (depending on kewell) we should run out babel, stevie, masch, yossi in the midfield against sunderland

    but all in all im happy we got a point, and its made better by united shitting the bed

  8. 8 Georger August 19, 2007 at 5:00 pm

    we’ve got so many targets and just dink it in instead of ripping one up into the middle.

  9. 9 Johninho August 19, 2007 at 8:29 pm

    You guys are my eyes. I cannot thank you enough for the writeup and the comments.

    I’m a little worried, because this was in the bag. As Sven rightly points out, there are 108 points up for grabs, but many of those points are going to be much harder to win than this one should have been.

    For example, I can LMAO at Spurs for about two more weeks, and then they become the enormous, hairy monster side that no one wants to play. Somebody needs to break up Manchester City Football Club, and even Sunderland are capable of giving us a bad day in their own den. Those are just the shock teams. The others are Manchester United, Everton, Arsenal, and every other one that thinks they have a shot at Europe, and they’re even harder.

    But I cannot wait for us to visit payback at Stamford Bridge. I hate Cheatski very, very much, and nothing would please me more than to have us wipe the smirks from their faces there, with the stubs of our boots.

  10. 10 Bob Marley and the Hartford Whalers August 20, 2007 at 1:22 am

    I thought this was a just planet.

    I thought wrong.

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