I can’t say I make it a habit of reading your ‘Side Kicks’ column on a regular basis, but I did happen upon it this week. How you chose to start it was rather interesting…
Even though he plays for Liverpool, I just have to admit it.
I’ve got a man-crush on Fernando Torres.
The kid just keeps impressing me week in and week out with his mazy runs and clinical finishing. His elegance on the ball in tight spaces is even more ridiculous when contrasted with the speed of Premiership play.
I was completely convinced that El Niño would have a hard time adjusting to England’s pace, but instead of changing his game to suit the league, he’s simply imposed his will on it. Prem defenders seem dumbfounded when facing him 1v1 and ‘keepers just don’t know where to position themselves when he charges in.
He’s this season’s Dimitar Berbatov without a doubt, only his club is going places.
The Reds were impressive to say the least against Marseille, especially after getting a 4-0 result in France at the Stade Velodrome. Don’t be surprised if the Golden Boy sees them through to the final once again, but we’ll wait and see what the draw on December 21st has in store.
But honestly, I don’t see Liverpool afraid of any club in Europe after huge wins in the last couple of European campaigns over teams like Real Madrid, Juventus, Chelsea and Milan.
Firstly, “Even though he plays for Liverpool…”? I suppose this establishes you’re not Liverpool fans. That’s certainly OK, I just wanted to make that clear. As a fan of some nameless club, you can obviously appreciate sublime talent when you see it and give it its due credit. Thank you for that. Even if you were a Doubting Thomas at first.
You need to get the hell up off my Man Crush before I put my boot through yer teeth. Don’t be thinking you’re gonna get all sweet on him and climb up on the bandwagon now. Uh-uh! No way!
He’s ours. And by ours, I mean us Liverpool fans who were behind him from Day One. And by those type of fans, I mean me. We all know how he fast he is. We all know how he combines that pace with silky smooth dribbling, the ability to render defenders useless and a presence that declares that he will not be denied. No, we all knew the talents he possessed. We knew almost immediately that he was going to ‘settle’ just fine. So you can take your ‘Golden Boy’-loving self and set yo ass up in the Cristiano Ronaldo line, cuz you ain’t welcome round here.
I don’t appreciate no Johnny Come Latelys trying to declare their non-sexual infatuation with the Anfield #9. I’ve already done that. I was here first. He’s mine. Don’t even think about it. You need to take your sorry ass back to the Premier League table and find another striker to fawn all over because this Spainard is mine. He’s spoken for. He’s taken. T-A-K-E-N, taken. Got it? And don’t even be thinking you’re going to sneak in behind my back, because I’m watching you. And if so much as look at El Nino wrong, I’ll gauge your eyes out.
And if you call him a Berbatov again, I’m going to slap the taste out yer mouth.
In fact, y’all shouldn’t even be looking at this…